Confidence, Shyness, blushing and Self Esteem. Confidence is not a thing; unfortunately, you cannot go to the shops and buy a pound of confidence. It is merely a description of how relaxed, how at ease we are in any given situation. Shyness is the name given to the things we feel and the thoughts we think when we are not at ease. Blushing is the horrible consequence when our bodies decide to broadcast our inner feelings to the world.
My clients often describe themselves as having low self esteem; what is self esteem? I consider it the amount of positive regard you have for yourself. It can be used as a label for many issues, form shyness to specific anxieties.
‘and often I hear my clients say “I have no confidence” which, if taken literally means ‘I have no confidence in anything, in doing anything, at any time, in any place, I have no confidence in me’. Which cannot be true, it is a matter of which time and place, in which context you feel you have no confidence when are you least at ease and relaxed in what you are doing? Often there is a pattern to this, and usually there is a good solution.
Call me for an honest answer, if I can help I will.
One thing to note, it is not always a therapy issue, it can be a training issue instead. Feeling scared, unwell, or just plain terrified about a situation is one thing, but feeling that way because you just don’t know what to do in that situation is something entirely different.
Having learn to, or been taught to, feel particularly bad when a spider walks across your wall is a therapy issue. Feeling particularly bad at the thought of seeing someone faint on the daily train commute, and not knowing what to do, is more of a training issue. Half a day with the Red Cross will give that person the confidence in knowing what to do.
Richard Stone - Modern Hypnotherapy
0208 647 7441
Richard.Stone@ModernHypnotherapy.co.uk
